Fat Camp
by evilsnowball7
Summary: i really wanted to do a fanfic with 2 of my favorite characters, Neville longbottom and Dudley Dursley but i thought to myself 'how would they ever meet' then it came to me...fat ntains slash NL/DD
1. Chapter 1

**Dudley:**

Summer had just begun. The sun was blazing, the birds were singing and children everywhere were rejoicing their new-found freedom. Well, most children...

"You did what!?"

So loud was this yell from the Dursley household that nearly every wife on Privet Drive stopped what they were doing, turned down the volume on their favourite soap and just sat back and listened to the real life drama that the Dursleys' provided them with on a daily basis.

"Fat camp! What the hell do I need to go to fat camp for?"

Every summer was always the same. Petunia Dursley would recieve yet another letter from that meddling school nurse claiming that, for whatever reason, her son needed to lose weight. Whether it be, 'we don't stock uniform in that size' or 'he sat on little Suzie Walters and she's still hospitalised'. It always came down to one thing; diets. But after three summers of unsuccesful dieting Petunia had decided on a new course of fat fighting action. Fat camp. Hence the current argument.

"But diddykins, it's for your own good, you'll thank us when you're older," squeaked a rather distraught Petunia to her whale of a son.

"Ain't going!" bellowed Dudley while tearing up the stairs as fast as his thick legs could carry him. 'Who the fuck does she think she is?' His own mother sending him to some gay ass camp full of fat ass kids. If it wern't for the fact that he had broken his bedroom door through repeated slamming he would have slammed it a fucker there and then but as it happened he had to make do with stomping his feet extra hard. This, as well as making the entire upper floor quake, only served to exhaust the obese teen so, with a grunt, he waddled across to his reinforced steel bed to reflect.

On one hand he could continue kicking and screaming and, whereas that would relieve his frustration, it would probably result in a grounding and he'd end up confined to this shit hole of a house forcing down cabbage casserole for the entire summer. Alternatively if he played his cards right perhaps he could work this to his advantage. If he agreed he'd be out of his parents' sight for the whole summer, not to mention all the extravagant gifts his parents would 'bribe' him with if he feigned disinterest a little longer. It was settled. Dudley's fat pig like face split into a wide impish grin and he lay back on his bed secure in the knowledge that within the hour his parents would be tapping on his door with the latest video games, toys and wads of cash and he, being the genius that he is, would reluctantly accept. He may not be smart but Dudley Dursley always got his own way.

Nothing could go wrong.

**Neville:**

Meanwhile halfway across the country a very cheerful Neville Longbottom also lay atop his bed musing. He eagerly awaited what was sure to be the best summer of his life. He smiled at the thought of mixing with other kids his own age and frame in, what the brochures described as, a purpose built luxury facility. Best of all though, at the end of it he'd be much better for the experience. No longer would he be the object of ridicule and humiliation amongst his peers. No longer would he be made to suffer because of his abundance of, what his Gran liked to call, puppy fat.

He'd be just like everyone else, like his classmates, like Harry. With that name Neville's train of thought came screeching to an abrupt halt. Harry. His first crush. Those startling green eyes that anyone could get lost in. It was staring into those eyes that had first sparked Neville's interest in boys and it was that boy that had helped him come to terms with the feelings that accompanied those interests. One Christmas, after a drunken kiss, Harry had let an extremely embarrassed Neville down gently but from that moment on a bond had been formed. Harry had revealed his own interest in boys and explained that his heart lay elsewhere but that secret had been the foundations of a strong friendship.

Neville knew not the object of Harry's desire but deep down he wished it were him and the pessimist in him constantly wondered why it were not which only led to one conclusion; his body. So when a brochure advertising 'Sugar Oaks Camp for Aerodynamically Challenged Teens' came through his letterbox Neville jumped at the opportunity. He barely concealed a grin as he thought of the look on Harry's face when, six weeks hence, the new slimline Neville greeted him.

With a sigh of content he heaved his bulky form out of bed and crossed the room to the full sized mirror that adorned the back of his door. Examining his topless reflection, Neville ran his hand across his rotund chest, cupping his soon to be gone breasts and imagining the results a summer of strict dieting and exercise may bring about.

A shrill cry travelled upstairs and Neville realised with a start that it was time to go. Pulling on a t-shirt and grabbing his case, Neville said goodbye to his old life and left the room with a spring in his step.

"Sugar Oaks, here I come!"

_I really enjoyed writing this chapter as it was my first chance to portray the characters clashing personalities. It is so much fun juxtaposing Dudleys' brash rudeness with the stark contrast of Nevilles' timidity. I particularly enjoy writing Dudleys parts :3 enjoy_


	2. Chapter 2

**Dudley:**

"Are we there yet?" moaned Dudley from the back seat for the tenth time in as many minutes. He didn't even await a reply before returning to the task at hand; Mutant Ninja Gangsters III. The shiny new PSP was one of the many gifts his naive parents had bestowed upon their son for 'deciding' to give Sugar Oaks a try.

Although his fat fingers tried in vain to bash one button at a time, Dudley's mind was not on massacring samurai crime lords. It may have seemed like a good idea at the time but he was now faced with the imminent prospect of six weeks without junk food or friends. Sure, he could rustle up some followers in a flash. One smack upside the head and he'd have those fat kids wiping his arse but it wasn't enough. He needed a confidant of sorts. Someone like Piers. Someone he could talk to, not quite like an equal but close enough. The best solution would be to observe the lot and pick the best of a bad bunch and bestow that lucky person with the title of 'friend', at least for six weeks. That decided he returned to his game but not without a quick dig at his back seat companion, Harry.

By the time Dudley had slaughtered no less than a dozen crime lords the Dursley car was driving beneath a large brightly painted arch that read, in sickly luminous colours that were supposedly meant to convey a sense of fun, 'Sugar Oaks Camp for Aerodynamically Challenged Teens'. When the car had manoeuvred around many a fat teen and Vernon had roared himself hoarse ensuring that none of them scratch the paintwork they finally came to a stop and Dudley extracted himself, with great difficulty, and surveyed the sorry bunch of candidates in front of him. He rolled his eyes and groaned aloud at the thought of having to pick a 'friend' out of that pathetic bunch.

Mumbling under his breath he began to scrutinise each in turn. "Too fat, too ugly, ginger, are you kidding me, look at those shorts, gay..." he had just dismissed one chubby candidate when he had to do a double take. The insolent little shit was staring right at him. Wait not at him. As Dudley turned around he saw his scrawny freak of a cousin's eyes widen in recognition. This boy knew Harry. Dudley watched in shock as the two hugged and jumped straight into conversion and a twinge of jealousy swept through him.

Dudleys feelings toward Harry were anything but straightforward. From an infant he had been conditioned by his parents to despise and fear him but at some point that fear had transformed into a loathing respect and that respect turned to admiration. As it stood Dudley was more than a little possessive of Harry. He wanted him and no one else could have him. He wasn't gay. No, he had made that clear to himself long ago. He was no poofter. He just knew what he wanted and what Dudley wants; Dudley gets.

He now watched in disgust as this fat twerp spoke so animatedly with HIS freak and he wondered what their relationship was but before he could ponder this Harry broke of the conversation and turned on Dudley. "You make this boys life anything but pleasant and you'll have me to deal with!" spat Harry with contempt. Fear and hatred spread through Dudley as he gulped back a retort but more than fear, stronger than hatred was the excitement. The raw sense of power, the burning passion in those eyes never failed to arouse the larger boy. An argument with Harry would find Dudley confined to his room with a 'do not disturb sign' on the door knob for the rest of the evening.

Just then a thought struck Dudley. If the freak wanted him to stay away from this boy what better way to royally piss him off than to do the exact opposite. So as the Dursleys drove off, his mother crying into a handkerchief as his father comforted her with his free hand, and as Harry waved goodbye to his mysterious friend Dudley approached the timid boy, who kept his eyes downcast, and said in as cheery a voice as he could muster with a friendly punch to the arm,

"Hi, I'm Dudley and you're my new friend."

** Neville:**

The atmosphere at Sugar Oaks was infectious. As Neville, face glued to the passenger seat window, glanced up at the colourful arch overhead he allowed himself a smile that spread from ear to ear. This summer was sure to be everything he had hoped for. Not for the first time that car ride a fleeting image of a slack jawed Harry drifted through Neville's mind and the wistful sigh that ensued fogged up the window. After scrawling Harry's initials alongside his own with one fat finger he quickly wiped away the condemning condensation with a baggy sleeve before his Gran took her eyes off the road. Her manic laughter at the thought of her joke of a Grandson crushing on the saviour of the wizarding world was the last thing his self esteem needed.

Pushing such thoughts aside Neville concentrated on the summer ahead. He'd make his Gran proud. This was his year. His last year at Hogwarts. His last chance to impress Harry, and impress Harry he would. As he squeezed himself out of his grandmothers car Neville greedily took in his surroundings. Nervous kids tentatively engaging in conversation with other nervous kids. Laughing teens waving to crying parents while crying teens wave to laughing parents. Fresh air, beautiful scenery and ...Harry?

There was no mistaking it. Here of all places, stood behind a grumpy looking fat kid, was the last person Neville expected to see, much less be seen by, at fat camp. His shock at Harry's unexpected appearance faded fast as Harry enwrapped his friend in a warm embrace.

"Neville, how are you?" enquired Harry cheerfully. Hearing the unspoken question Neville explained how his Gran had decided fat camp may do her lumpy lout of a grandson a world of good. After all he couldn't tell him the real reason.

"That's tough," intoned Harry sympathetically. "But i know you'll make the best of it. Hang in there buddy." Harry's confidence in him was touching and Neville turned his most grateful smile on the smaller boy. "Thanks Harry." But something still bugged him. "Why are you here?" With that Harry's face turned grim and Neville was warned about Harry's grumpy fat muggle cousin. That very same muggle that was, right now, glaring menacingly in their direction.

After a very brief catch up session, for summer had only just begun, Harry excused himself and, after growling a warning at his cousin, was driving away in what Neville now realised was Harry's uncle's car. With a parting wave Neville turned his attention on Harry's cousin who, to his horror, was striding towards him. Neville cringed as the other boy said in a sinister voice with an accompanying thump to the arm,

"Hi, I'm Dudley and I'm you're my new friend."

_Well here ends the second chapter. For any who are evn bothering to read this, enjoy_

_thanks to TornIntoPieces_


	3. Chapter 3

**Dudley:**

Turns out this new friends name is Neville or Norbert or something equally as dorky. Before 'pleasantries' could be made however an ear splitting screech rent the air. Teens everywhere craned their chubby necks to locate the source of the commotion. The source, Dudley noticed, was a twig of a woman manically jogging on the spot . With an unnatural orange glow and abs that would put an Olympic runner to shame, the middle aged woman looked to be straight out of one of those phony television ads that provide miracle cures to the ignorant masses for an extortionate price. As the whistle left her lips she addressed her new recruits in an irritating high pitched voice reminiscent of a rusty nail on a chalkboard.

"Hey guys! Good to see you! You look great! Just kidding! I'm Kathy Grant but you can call me Kat. On to business. During the next six weeks I'm gonna whip you guys into shape. I'm going medieval on your massive behinds. It's possible some of you may come to dislike me but..."

Your not wrong there thought Dudley as he let his mind travel from Kat's introduction speech to assess his new friend. A quick once over and Dudley was far from impressed. 'This boy's a wizard? Where's the power? The confidence, the danger.' This boy was as different from Harry as chocolate to broccoli, and Dudley hated broccoli. Physically the boy was nothing special. Not putridly ugly but definitely no Harry Potter. Everything about him just screamed ordinary from his pudding cut sandy brown hair, complete with cows lick, to his chubby face that was lightly sprinkled with freckles.

Dudley looked away in disgust. Training this boy was going to be difficult. He was worthless. He was trash and yet... Harry saw something in this boy. What was it? Before he could contemplate the group seemed to be moving. Dudley fell back behind Neville, not as a sign of weakness but to ensure the little shit didn't run off. The procession was taken on a tour of the grounds. In addition to running tracks and soccer fields, Sugar Oaks was also the proud owner of the countries largest and most demanding obstacle course. 'Fuck that!' thought Dudley as his gaze travelled a fifty foot climbing net. After being shown around the recreation room, and more importantly the cantine, the teens were led to their accommodation. The sleeping quarters were not communal meaning the girls had a cabin to themselves.

Just then Kathy addressed the teens once more. "Alrighty then kiddies, time to pair up. This here camp works on a buddy system meaning if one fails both fail. You will be accountable for your buddy's actions and it will be your responsibility to get your buddy through these next six weeks. Pick carefully. The one you choose will be on your ass night and day for the rest of your time here. Now pick!"

Dudley turned his attention on Neville and upon catching the other boy's eye lifted an eyebrow enquiringly. Anger flared through him as the other boy nodded reluctantly with a look of panic. He could at least look enthusiastic. The ungrateful little git was being offered the chance of a lifetime after all. As Kathy took a list of partners Dudley put his anger aside and sauntered over to his new partner to make small talk. "So, ummm...you're friends with Harry?" The other boy nodded but kept his mouth shut tight. Dudley suppressed a groan. "So how did you two meet?" Dudley mentally kicked himself for uttering such a retarded question. Thinking under pressure, or thinking at all, was not his forte.

"We're friends from Hog...I mean we're school friends," mumbled Neville. At least the dumb fuck is smart enough not to mention magic in front of, what was the word Harry used? Muggles.

Just then Kathy appeared in front of them flashing a smile that was as fake as her tits and waving a clipboard in their faces. "Names?"

Once the bitch had gone, for that is the nickname with which Dudley had already mentally dubbed her, both boys began to unpack their belongings into trunks situated at the foot of their adjacent beds. Someone must have realised obese teens and bunk beds don't mix thought Dudley as he unpacked a picture of his family. This was his favourite photo as it was one of the few that contained Harry. Both aged fourteen in the photo, Harry was half hidden behind Dudley but it mattered not. Now he displayed the photo proudly on his bedside table as a warning to this Neville. Marking his property, so to speak. Harry was his and his alone. As he turned on Neville with a smug grin he noticed the photo on the other boy's bedside table. It was a picture of Neville and Harry standing side by side, Harry's arm around Neville, and both beaming happily. As Neville caught the direction of his stare and then in turn noticed Dudley's photo, he flashed Dudley a nervous grin, the equivalent to a kick in the crotch. Smarmy little cunt!

**Neville:**

_Oh diddums!_ This was not going to plan at all. The elation and shock of Harry's sudden appearance had departed with the green eyed beauty himself only to be replaced with a sudden sensation of dread. Dread which, most likely, had something to do with the monstrous muggle little more than a wands length away. The muggle that even now leered in his direction with those watery blue eyes so similar to the emerald green pools that belonged to his own flesh and blood yet so different in every way.

Awkwardness threatened to overwhelm the moment so Neville, with years of manners drilled into him by his grandmother from a young age, held out a porky hand to the muggle named Dudley and mumbled a greeting of 'Neville. Neville Longbottom, pleased to meet you."

Both boys were spared further conversation by a screech that could rival that of a mandrake. All attention fell on an athletic looking woman that looked as out of place circled by the corpulent crowds of overweight kids as a centaur at a swimming pool. As Kathy, for that appeared to be her name, made her speech Neville felt her enthusiasm flow into him and give his spirits the lift they required. She seemed tough, determined and motivated. A little of his earlier disappointment began to ebb as he realised that if anyone could turn him into the boy Harry deserved it was Kathy Grant.

After ten minutes hooked on the bawling fitness trainers every awe-inspiring word, Neville found himself being taken on a tour of the grounds. The facilities were everything the brochure had promised, right down to the fifty foot climbing net that made Neville queasy merely from the sight of it. Turning his back on the towering net of death Neville continued with the tour trying hard to forget his vertigo. A while passed and they were shown to their dormitories.

All the while Dudley followed behind a little too closely for comfort. W_hat does he want with me? _If half the stories Harry told of this boy were true, and Neville had no reason to doubt that they weren't especially now, then this summer was going to be worse than a years extra Potions with Snape.

Suddenly Kathy made an announcement that caused Nevilles spirits to sink even further. _Buddy system? Oh no! _Turning to face his grumpy unwanted companion his worst suspicions were confirmed. The muggle stared and raised his shoulders with an enquiring grunt that could only mean one thing. Neville let his own shoulders slump as he nodded an affirmative.

_Double diddums! _This is not good. One little nod and now he was trapped. Why did he have to nod? It was so like him. He could never say no. Polite to a blooming fault. That's what Great-Uncle Algie said. What had he gotten himself into? Only the thought of a certain Gryffindor kept Neville from despairing completely. _I'm doing this for Harry. I'm doing this for Harry_. His mantra was interrupted, however, as the other boy approached.

"So, ummm...you're friends with Harry?" the beastly boy drawled. Luckily a simple nod was sufficient enough an answer, saving Neville the embarrassment of speaking. The last thing he wanted was a tremble in his voice to betray his fear of the other boy. The relief was short lived as the boy asked another question. "So how did you two meet?" The stupidity of this question was lost on the timid wizard as this time his treacherous voice did betray him.

"We're friends from Hog...I mean we're school friends." P_lease please please, no more questions!_ Salvation! Kathy with perfect timing appeared from nowhere to take names. Neville was liking this woman more and more each second. A faint ray of hope occurred to him as he imagined that Kathy was not the type to take bullying lightly and worse come to worse he could always ask for help. After taking names the teens were left to unpack. Reaching into his trunk, the same trunk that had thus far made the trip to Hogwarts 6 times and smelled faintly of fertilizer, Neville pulled out his most prized possession. Harrys pretty feminine face gazed up from the stationary muggle photograph and though it contained not a hint of magic, somehow the photographer through some muggle magic of his own had capture that glint in Harrys' eye. That glint that now told Neville everything would be fine.

He allowed himself the first smile since the departure of Harry and even risked a timid smile at Dudley. This, however only earned a glare that could stop a basilisk in its tracks. _I'm doing this for Harry!_

end of chapter.

thanks to all who have read this far and i promise there wont be such a long wait for the next chapter :3


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